They want to reach the edge of the world, to see if there is really an abyss.

Heart of Glass

Wave your hand to sleepy land, kiss those dreams away

Banana Breakfast

Guilty Knees

Jerry, where has Bizarro gone?

Broken floorboards

Sometimes
When I'm
                 w
                     e  a  v
                               i  
                                 n g
           a  roun d
  my room,

I
    wonder
                   if I
                         will
                                 f
                                 a
                                 l
                                 l
               into
             another
              world.

Away

I've been thinking how much I like the feeling of 'away'; removing myself from day-to-day happenings to be on my own without distraction. This feeling of solitude, of 'away', is very important to my art practice and to me as a person. I'm yet to figure out how to balance this need in my day-to-day life though...

I've been staying at Homer's house, a speck in the Wimmera, for the last few days. It's nice to catch up after some time and I've been happy I can help by cooking a few meals. I enjoy Homer's company; the way I can mention a particular writer, artist, film or describe my latest thought or idea and he will be able to teach me something new and give me a large book to read (or at least look at).

His library and ever-growing DVD collection are a delight as well. Over the last few days I have discovered the film director, Lina Wertmüller (a female film director!) I had never heard of her before but after watching Night Full of Rain and Swept Away, I can't wait to watch more of her films. I loved the settings; an ancient monastery in Italy and a deserted island in the Mediterranean, respectively. They were both very powerful films; many layers of meaning to explore.

Last night I watched Werner Herzog's Land of Silence and Darkness in front of a waning fire in the lounge room. I found this documentary film very moving; what kind of experience does a deaf and blind person have of the world? How can they communicate with other deaf and blind people? I kept thinking about the people Fini visits in the film. The middle aged woman wrongly put into a lunatic asylum when her Mother dies; she retreats into herself and eventually forgets how to talk. And the 22 year old boy never taught how to communicate, walk or eat properly; does he hit himself in the head with a ball just to feel something?

Week dreams

I was going home to Blackburn. I somehow had a birds eye view of the suburb trying to work out what bus I could catch there. I felt that I shouldn't go back as it was no longer mine and I didn't know who would be there. In my mind I knew that the house was no longer there, yet it seemed like the most logical place to go from where I was. I would somehow launch down from the sky into parkland and weave my way around streets, up and down hills, trying to get over to my house. I was somewhere in suburbia, green suburbia...

I was walking home through the city from an earlier dream, looking up to a tall skyscraper against a dark sky. The skyscraper was flickering as it was overlapped by other buildings, making it much taller at times. I thought about how the world is overpopulated; even if people want to get away to the country, there will still be people there, just slightly less concentrated...

I was in an airport catching a flight to New York from a city that might have been Singapore. There were a few entrance points throughout the terminal with security people at each entrance, but the entrances were unmarked and it was impossible to determine where they went without asking. I didn't want to present at the wrong entrance so I kept walking back and forth through the long terminal. I went to an entrance at the end and fell into conversation with someone. I realised that my flight was leaving in 5-10 minutes and I was meant to go to the entrance at the beginning of the airport. I ran back as fast as I could to wait in a long line. They were taking forever to check through people's bags. The security people realised that the plane was waiting for me though and began to see me through. I got in a lift, very flustered, and started urging the man in there to press level 3. The lift was really cluttered with decorative objects and things attached to the walls and I couldn't see fast enough how to press the level I wanted. I finally made it to the plane; luckily it had waited for me. I had wasted so much time pacing back and forth at the airport. If I had just asked where to go at the beginning, I would have known that the first entrance, although it didn't look like the entrance, was where I needed to go...

I was sleeping rough in the corner of a series of cavernous rooms where other unknown people had found their own positions around different corners. I felt like I had found myself one of the best corners but it was a bit away from everyone else which made me slightly nervous. There was no reason for people to walk up to my corner. I had to keep using this public toilet a little bit of a walk away. Mostly I was the only one who used it, though I remember wanting it to myself as anyone else could use it as well...

There was something wrong with the water and gas in the apartment that I shared with one other person. There had been a party somewhere and a lot of us had come back to mine at 7am to sleep, but I'm not sure who stayed. There were people in the process of moving in/out and subsequently there were a lot of people in the apartment that night. I was so desperate to make something to eat that I decided to venture over to my neighbour's house and ask if I could use their stove and water for a short time. I ventured down out of my apartment complex with a few pieces of asparagus (I had to make do with the food that I had). I knocked on my neighbour's door and as I waited I broke up the asparagus into pieces of about 3-4cm long. The woman answered after a few knocks, holding a cat. I asked if I could cook and she was quite welcoming. I decided to cook pasta but all I had brought down was some asparagus. She looked at what I was holding and said, "Isn't that corn? I've been using it lately". I looked at it more closely and all I could see was asparagus. I took her word for it, thinking maybe I was wrong. I left something on to boil and went to dash quickly up to the apartment and get some other ingredients like spaghetti. I realised that I didn't have my key and I couldn't get back into the building. I was trying to find one of the people staying at my apartment last night to let me in but no one seemed to have a key. I was getting anxious that the water had finished boiling at my neighbour's and I needed to go back there and present with my spaghetti. My hunger had become less of a concern as I was conscious of my invitation running out...

I was going to be performing at a gig/fashion walk. There were four of us and we kept trying to work out the line-up. I was set to go on to the catwalk with one other person; I think it was partly because they were too nervous and felt like they wanted to go on with someone else. It made no sense as everyone else was walking on as an individual and I wanted to keep things consistent. I tried to convince myself that it would be ok performing with this other person, but realistically I wanted us all to go on as individuals. We went over the possibilities again and again not really getting to any conclusions. I kept seeing flashes of the poster advertising our performance. The name I was performing under was a combination of two different band names; neither of them were me and they were not performing. The posters showed all these different combinations of band names. I liked the idea of appearing under someone else's name...

Stay forever

Dora and Lytton

Love Lies Bleeding

Read to me

Blue moon

I dreamt of a shimmering grey Jupiter slowly rotating around the moon. My view was closely focused in on the planet and the moon; they were almost touching. There was a bright light within them. I thought how Jupiter's close contact with the moon must be what keeps it so cool. I felt a slight confusion in the back of my mind. I didn't think until the dream had ended how Jupiter would be rotating around the sun rather than the moon. But the emphasis of the dream was on the cool temperature and sense of calm and silence. I wonder how I knew that this planet was Jupiter? And where was the Earth?

Housebound

Jetlag and associated ailments ahoy. 
I watched Patrick Keiller's London at 1am the other night in a sudden period of awake. In a half-dream state I felt the narrator begin to speak to my surroundings; "for weeks he read long into the night until the end of August when he began to venture out again with the fresh eyes of the convalescent..."