I've been in a flurry of 'doing' for the past few weeks and I haven't been writing much (missing the words!) I'm constantly wanting to record the present moment and I find it difficult to know when to switch that on and off. How do you know if a moment is worth recording? Do you lose another moment in the future when you look back on the recording? I think that my drawing and writing habits have taken a bit of a back seat (or a different seat) for now. Drawing is still my main 'product' but I've been relying a lot on photography and projecting in my process of documentation. My main focus has been to record my studio space; what I create in there, what is brought into the space, how objects and furniture move around and how I move within the space. For me a work space needs to constantly change in order to stay productive/inspiring/clear. I'm conscious that if I leave something in one place for too long then it becomes stagnant; I haven't interacted with it and I probably haven't thought about it so why is it there?
I'm trying to work really hard at the moment and be in the present. Art is my focus and I want it to come from a positive space that I create here and now. I feel like a lot of my work in the last few years has been imbued with a deep nostalgia or sadness; yearning for the past/a place/a person/a feeling. Perhaps there is also a yearning for a past which has never been. I find these feelings circulate around me and occasionally touch me when I come out from a period of focused work; there is a sudden doubt or loneliness. Although these feelings are there, I try not to let it affect me for too long. I am less inclined to entertain these feelings than I might have been when I was younger. Sometimes I would like to entertain them but I'm more keen to move forward and not look back for too long. Perhaps this is where this excitement of making is coming from at the moment; a need to keep moving forward. I have momentum and I need to figure out how to keep it going while finding a balance of other things...(Note: need to get around to
those readings,
that essay...)
