The Heath

I fell asleep on the grass this afternoon and woke up with a jolt from one of those dreams where you are stepping into a new space and then the floor suddenly gives way beneath you. I jumped back as quick as a cat.

I've been woken up by nightmares the last few nights. 

I've dreamt about going back to my old house. It's night time and my friends are all having a party. We are not meant to be there. But everyone is having a good time. I distract myself with a few drinks and kiss someone I hardly know. A moment of comfort. I'm shaken out of it as I become anxious that we all need to leave. I see what has changed in the house; the things that are no longer there and the building that is being constructed outside.  I plead with everybody that we need to leave as soon as possible and pretend we haven't been there. I'm standing out in the backyard, lit by one little light bulb, waiting for everyone. My kiss tries to tell me everything's fine. He asks for my number but I'm too distracted by the situation. I see two strangers walk in through the back door with knives. I wake up in a sweat.

It's strange how a dream can shape your day. I kept getting lost today (on trains, in the heath) and I just felt like I was carrying around a chest full of anxiety.

It was a picturesque afternoon though. 

I made myself read one of my new books to the end. It's good when a book can take you out of yourself and draw you into another wotld.