Gaze

I awoke this morning to see Jerry sitting on my desk looking out the window, his backside sticking out underneath the yellowed floral curtains. His tail curled around like a monkey as he watched birds flying into the yard and people walking, riding and driving past (he probably sees a lot more than I imagine). I watched him as he sat on the desk looking out the window (obviously no one else had got up yet or he would have meowed at them to let him out so he could roam over to the neighbours' or lounge in the grass). After a prolonged period of looking out the window he ducked back under the curtain into the room and began to look around and ponder his next move. He quietly and carefully maneuvered around the books on the desk and I could see his mind tick over with what he should do to pass the time until someone got up to let him out. I kept staring at him as he sniffed a candle positioned towards me on the corner of the desk and then he looked down and gave his belly a lick. He looked up and around the room and then turned back around and met my gaze. He looked startled for a moment and meowed at me. I was pleased with myself and laughed that I had been able to fool him into thinking I had been asleep for a few more minutes than I really was. I liked watching his thought process and actions as he was unaware of my conscious presence.

It made me think how special it is to observe someone close to you without them knowing.

Or to quietly view someone in public.

I've always struggled to say hello to people I recognise in public. It's a shyness I have always had where I get startled or feel like it isn't the right time to approach someone. It frustrates me and I hope to grow out of it one day. On the positive, I sometimes enjoy those moments where I recognise someone in a public space without them seeing me. I like to watch the way someone boards a tram or walks down the street. I quite often see people who look like people I know and I feel compelled to (subtly) glance at them at every opportunity I get so that I can figure out if it is the person I know or not. Once I have determined that it isn't the person, something makes me keep watching them. I suppose I have begun to enjoy the way they move within the world.